"Lalayet pancavarsani dasa varsani tadayet prapte tu sodase varse putram mitravadacaret"

Till the age of five, pamper a child, Through the next ten years, enforce strict discipline. From the sixteenth year, treat the child as a friend.  - Chanakya Niti.

Parenting is one of the most important period in a man's and women's life. Most parents think parenting as disciplining their child.

What is really parenting?. Real parenting is Self-diciplining one's own inner child. As parents we have to see our own inner child through the external child that we try to discipline.  As adults we have an immature child within us. When we grew up we were not fully aware of our inner child because we were focused only on the child-body of ours. We grew up without really disciplining and maturing the "childness" within. We gave up our innocence and thought we have matured to adult.

When we become parents we get a greatest chance in life to witness our inner child through our external child. Any time we open our mouth to discipline our external child, pay attention to see if we have those qualities hidden within us. Most parents yell at children's mistakes, hardly noticing that that trait is actually one's own self reflection. Through child if parents take attempt to grow along with their children, finally both of them would make a wonderful family.

Parenting is not preaching but self learning and correction: Only when we are aware of correcting our own inner-immature child mind, our external child will also self correct. Otherwise our children will take our words as preaching and not teaching. We as adults will create rules for children and a separate rule for us. This is not democratic but autocracy. Then later our children will drive us crazy.

Golden rule in parenting: Every time we correct our child,  pay attention (awareness) to our own inner child. See if that has matured or still under developed. If under developed, grow and mature that inner child first. Then you will see your outer child maturing naturally. This will bring less friction in family. When you change,  you will see change in your own external child.

When you scream at your child to do home work (his or her duties), see that you also follow that same rule. Do you do your duties as a parent or wife or husband. Children will not take your preaching, they follow you as a role model. Preaching is just theory and Teaching is practical version of it.

    Family values and tradition is on the verge of crashing. We all want a peaceful world without any participation. When we create a peaceful family, a family without violence, then the world would naturally end up peaceful.

All cultures in the world have their own tradition and values. Parents must introduce such samskars (Tradition) to their children with "Freedom" to inquire the Value of such traditions and live to that values. This gives  a sense of direction to their  life. Blindly doing rituals without knowing the value will bring dishonor to the tradition.

    Without meaningful traditions and rituals, people would be psychologically sick. We would have materialistic comforts with inner peace. In all traditions, the value of rituals is to bring inner peace.  

      Weak Parenting brings forth mentally troubled children who would grow into society inflicting adults. We are directly or indirectly responsible to all the good and bad occurring in this world. Parenting is the first individual responsibility of every man and women from their part to create a harmonious world.

We will come up with more articles in near future.

A nice article on child's Brain Power to read.

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